A Letter to My Daughter About Her Father

Dear Denali,

            The first thing you need to know about Daddy is that I knew I was going to marry him from the first moment I saw him standing in the doorway of the classroom next to mine. He was a “young professional” then, wearing a black shirt, awkwardly knotted tie, and voluminous khakis. As Daddy describes it, “If I jumped out of a plane with no parachute in those pants, I would perfectly fine.” I won’t even elaborate on the outfits I would put together when I was a “young professional”. Ask Daddy. Needless to say, we were both trying to be good adults and when I first noticed that Daddy was actually a dirt-loving, soul-seeking, flannel-slouching, wild adult in disguise, just like me, I knew I had found my person. My other. My little piece of Holy Ground (Daddy gave me Salinger, too).

Love is actually like that sometimes, Denali. I know that to be true. Believe, just a little, in magic like that…because it happened to me.

With Daddy as your father, you will need to be prepared. Daddy will push you to extremes, test your limits against weather, wild animals, sleep deprivation, distance from civilization, hunger, and cleanliness – and as an infant, you will win, which will be delightful for me to see, as I have never won like you will – and there will be moments when you want to ask Daddy why he is trying to kill you slowly, but then you will turn the corner of some rock face and see the most incredible arch in the cosmos, or you will find yourself face to face with a snarfling sand shark, playful as a puppy, or you will stand at the top of frozen world, having gotten there over hundreds of miles with your own legs and a set of wheels. Simply by being himself, Daddy will make you unstoppable. I know. He has made me unstoppable. He has given me three lifetimes worth of reasons to believe that I can do anything – things I never believed possible – and you, Denali, are next.

This is because Daddy is a superhuman. And yes, sometimes superhumans can be incredibly annoying because they remind you, simply by existing, that you can, and should be, aspiring to greatness with a smile on your face. But you must never settle for anything less than a superhuman. (Man or woman. We don’t care.) Daddy would never allow it, and Daddy is the smartest person who will ever love you. He is my Seymour without the tragedy, which you will understand when you are old enough to read the first editions your father bought for me for my 24th birthday, only weeks before we found out we were going to be having a baby – you.

With Daddy as your father, you are going to see and do things that sometimes might scare you – muggy jungles before sunrise, oceans teeming with invisible life, dusty streets loud with unfamiliar languages and bad driving practices. When you are ever afraid, I need you to know that, however far Daddy might push you to help you experience and grow, he will never, ever let you get hurt. I am sure of this because I, too, have been afraid sometimes at the things that Daddy and I have done (because unfamiliar is always a little scary), but Daddy has always held my hand. Daddy is always watching and Daddy would always be ready to step in front of any danger, without hesitation, to protect us and keep us safe. Daddy would happily die for us.

            Try not to think about that too much, though, because your love for him will bubble up into a frothy, teary mess and you’ll want to cling to his back like a spider monkey for the rest of your life so that you never have to leave the light of his presence.

            And that makes you look a little ridiculous.

Love should be like that, though. You deserve that, Denali. If ever you find yourself wondering if someone in your life is right for you, simply ask yourself if they would do for you what Daddy would. If not – if you can’t envision them fending off actual tigers or patiently pretending to battle with a lobster you dreamed was on the ceiling – then they are not enough for you.

            And Daddy will find them and let them know it.

Get ready, little girl. In just a few short weeks, you are about to meet the coolest, handsomest, silliest, bravest, wildest, most adventurous man that ever graced this sometimes unforgiving planet, and his five trusty sidekicks – Mommy, Zoe, Shelby, Banjo, and Claire. This family, where animals outnumber people, is so ready for you, and Daddy is the heart of it all. Without him, the sun just doesn’t shine.

            But you’ll find that out soon enough.

Get ready to play, roll in dirt, look at horny toads, cry over sunrises, read fine literature, dodge mosquitoes, cry over wild animal sightings, squeal, traverse the continents, wrangle dogs, laugh, build a fort, snuggle, and laugh some more.

              Daddy does it all.

            He is my everything, and now, so are you.

            Daddy makes this family great.

            Welcome to the jungle.

            The king of it all is the best man you’ll ever know.

Love,

            Mommy